Three Steps Behind
by arcanioque
Summary: Little Sasuke cannot hate his Niisan no matter how hard he tries.


three steps behind

_experimental._

_sasuke, itachi. _

_being second best. _

_**little sasuke's pov.**_

Little Sasuke cannot hate his Nii-san no matter how hard he tries.

_-_

Nii-san, today, I tried to beat you, but you didn't know of it. You walked out into the woods, and I wanted to out-race you and see who could reach town first. I tried very, very hard. I already memorized the short cut I was going to take. When I reached town gasping for air, I thought I had beaten you this time. But I had not, Nii-san. You were already inside an inn, before I did.

Nii-san, today, I tried to make Otto-san notice me instead of you. I woke up early, to practice all of the jutsus I've learnt so far at the backyard. Otto-san saw me. I thought he would say something to cheer me on. Even just a soft 'hn' will be okay. But he didn't. And I got very, very sad. Instead, he looked at you sitting at the breakfast table, and asked you what you were going to do later.

Nii-san, today, I tried to make Okaa-san happy. I picked flowers for her at the backyard, and gave them to her. I wanted to see her smile. Demo ne, she was about to accept my flowers when you walked into the house, and she forgot all about me. She took your coat off, and asked you how was your day like, whether you had eaten. She smiled at you, and told you she was proud of you. Okaa-san never smiled at me.

Nii-san, today, I asked you if you could help me train again. You pressed two fingers to my forehead and told me 'perhaps another day'. I didn't like it. The other day, you carried me on your back around town, and I saw alot of things on top of your shoulder. I felt good, and I liked it alot. Nii-san always make me feel warm and safe and protected. I know if the bad guys come, you'll be here, ne, Nii-san?

Nii-san, your otouto tries very very hard to make someone notice him all the time. Otto-san and Okaa-san seem to only see you in their eyes. There is no me in their world, sadly. I don't like that, but I don't blame you. After all, you're in so many ways better than I am. At my age, you've already learnt more jutsus than I did. I don't even think I can be in ANBU at your age, Nii-san. No wonder Otto-san favors you so much, and Okaa-san always is proud of you and only you.

Nii-san, sometimes, I don't like you very much. Because of you, I must try very very hard to validate my existence and make someone notice me. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will always be three steps behind you, and be living in your shadow. I really hope one day Otto-san and Okaa-san will turn around and notice me just a little, just a bit, to know that there is an Uchiha Sasuke, and not Uchiha Itachi's otouto.

Demo ne, Nii-san, I cannot hate you at all, even though I try very very hard to. You take away the attention I should have gotten. Because of you, expectations for me are so high, and because I fail at living up to them, I get overlooked, and you bask in the limelight while people turn their backs away from me. Otto-san and Okaa-san don't seem to want to acknowledge me as a worthy Uchiha son of theirs, too.

I hate you, Nii-san. I hate you, and I should hate you.

Demo ne, Nii-san, it only seems like you're the only one who see me as Uchiha Sasuke, and not someone else's otouto. Should I hate you then? I don't know. But you're the only one who were interested in my progress. You're the only one who care about me truly and ask me if I am okay when my face would be bruised from training. You're the only one who allow me to get on your back and have me getting a piggy-back ride around the village. You're the only one who will press two fingers to my forehead and tell me, "It's a sign of affection." You're the only one who seem to validate my existence. You're the only one who doesn't seem to turn his back on me.

That's why, Nii-san, no matter how much I am supposed to hate you, how much you have taken away alot alot of things from my life, how often I always find myself living in your shadow, pacing about three steps behind where you stand, please remember, Nii-san, that I _cannot _hate you no matter what.

Because you're the only one who truly care, Nii-san. And even if the rest turn their backs on me, as long as you're still here by my side, then everything will be okay, Nii-san.

I'll be okay, too. I have you, ne, Nii-san?

**owari **


End file.
